This morning I walked outside and breathed in the fresh, crisp autumn air. I looked up at the sky filled with beautiful clouds, and the moon hanging there like a quiet smile. Not a cartoon smile — just that thin sliver moon that somehow makes the whole sky feel peaceful.
The Earth really is a beautiful place. Sometimes I think maybe God is already here, inside us, in the spirit of things. Maybe heaven isn’t somewhere else. Maybe it’s moments like this — waking up, breathing fresh air, seeing a tree move in the wind and actually noticing it. Good and bad, yin and yang, all existing together.
There is so much beauty in this world if you can still see it. A tree can inspire me. The clouds can inspire me. Just being lucky enough to wake up can inspire me.
This week I’ve been trying to be tougher on my daughter, trying to push her to eat, but really it only becomes harder on myself. Mental illness changes the way a person thinks. It doesn’t matter how much I talk or reason or plead — I can’t force someone else’s mind to believe they deserve to live and nourish themselves.
I keep hoping this medication works. I hold onto that hope because if it doesn’t… then what? But for today, I’m trying to hold onto the beauty that still exists around us, even in the middle of fear and heartbreak.
The Lady in the Back Row 